In celebration of dropping our Worst Cartoons Ever DVD price to $10, I figured it was time to bring our first-ever Worst Cartoon Ever contest to a close. But first, a quick word about the DVD for sale in the sidebar to your right…

…It’s only 10 clams now! That’s as cheap as fast food for two (with nearly the same amount of intestinal unrest)! Who needs a ShamWow when our DVD—packed with extras and quality transfers of the worst cartoons ever made with Jerry Beck presiding—is only 10 Dollars! Just listen to my horrible salesman cat, won’t you?

Please add one to your cart for me, and then find out the Fan-Picked Worst Cartoon Ever Made and the winner of a Worst Cartoons Ever DVD after the jump!

While I was nearly moved to tears over Ashley’s account of a suppository-faced Ghost Busters car, and ZeroCorpse’s sad childhood experience of The Three Robotic Stooges show:

The Stooges are given bionic implants and work as secret agents. They’re all alive, and they’re bionic, in 1979.

The one that really made me bite right through my tongue in anguish was Rubik The Amazing Cube—submitted by Jeff Sparkman! So a gypsy-driven cart straight out of Byzantine Bulgaria happens to have a fucking magic 80s fad toy in his cart?! And then, like it ain’t no thang, this little prick egghead solves it right there on the road, opening the gates of hell and turning the cube into an irritating and aestheically repulsive, pigeon-english speaking goober with a voice like a constipated Smurf. And all explained by MENUDO?!? Just watch:

and if this clip doesn’t make you want to fry your own eyeballs in a nice white wine and lemon butter sauce, then I just don’t get you. It also begs the question, “When Rubik digests that hot dog, does he shit cubes in the woods?” Congratulations Jeff, you earned your free DVD.