Imagine my surprise when I pooped this tape into a VCR and was greeted by a Clip Art Space Mr. Bill with a reeeeeally loudly overdubbed voice whisked me into his little corner of the vaccum of space. That’s not a typo, by the way—I did not “pop” this tape into the VCR. Now imagine my surprise when that thing announced it had a name: Harmony Heart. Terrifying, isn’t it? “HOW YA DOIN’ OUT THERE?” But he doesn’t give us time to answer. My answer would have been, “I had been doing fine, until a dark portion of my life from Epcot’s ‘Captain E.O.’ ride decided to track me into the future and greet me once more.”
On first glance, he’s sort of gingerbread man who has apparently discovered David Bowie late in life and—by the look on his face—dark, 52nd Street theatre houses playing movies like “Anus the Menace.” My God…it’s full of stars. But I’ll tell you one thing: I felt compelled to drop everything I was doing to sing along with Harmony Heart, and it was eventually my honor to mangle grammar with him.
It’s Friday, and I think I will open up all of the doors today, my friends. I have all the keys. All I need is a track in the background. I will come fun learning with this man. And just look what kind of come fun learning adventures you’re going to come fun learn! Sonny and Cher! The Train of…Caipiro? Umm…white kids dressed like indians…hey, what in the hell kind of fun learning is this anyway, you educational rainbow creature? Well, we’ve come this far. There’s no turning back. I can’t think of a better way to spend Friday the 13th.
Postscript: When he says “FUNNNN LEARNING!” all I can think of is TV’s Frank from Mystery Science Theater bellowing “DEEEEP HURTING!” In truth, they are the same.
If Jack in the Box and Rainbow Brite had sex, we would probably get some unholy spawn a lot like Harmony Heart. And his “theme song” is clearly instructing children to free him from his eternal prison so that he can unleash a plague of Sonny and Cher upon humanity once again. Fool me once, shame on you…
Comment by Friginator — March 13, 2009 @ 5:44 pm
Love it. Let’s fun reading.
Comment by Gary — March 13, 2009 @ 8:56 pm
[...] utterances? “DO DISCO TEDDY BEAR”?…How long have these guys been hanging out with Harmony Heart? Why the LONG ASS PAUSE at the beginning? Why is the cover of this VHS printed on laser jet glossy [...]
Pingback by Worst Cartoons Ever — May 12, 2009 @ 5:06 am
[...] hit the box instead of the carpet, you’re going to get a special fish flavored treat. You remember Harmony Heart, don’t you? Of course you do. He’s the Worst Cartoon Robot Host of All Time [He's out of work now, and in the coming weeks [...]
Pingback by Worst Cartoons Ever — May 26, 2009 @ 5:01 am
It was a terrible time to be a 9 year old in the 80’s when videos like this were out!
Comment by Chris Sobieniak — June 5, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
David Bowie has some really eccentric personality but i like his style of music. he is a good actor too.,”-
Comment by Isla Watson — June 11, 2010 @ 12:25 am
when i hear about David Bowie, it reminds me of Vanilla Ice. `.,
Comment by Avery Nelson — July 15, 2010 @ 10:58 am
I can tell a lot of the shorts featured in these “Fun Learning” tapes would make RiffTrax material, especially since they’re all obviously public-domain shorts.
Comment by D. Curlee — October 1, 2010 @ 6:21 pm
david bowie has this weird stuff character on him but he is cool-`;
Comment by Taylor Lewis — October 11, 2010 @ 3:38 am
David Bowie is a classic, i like all his songs during the old days. ..:
Comment by Led Spots %0B — December 12, 2010 @ 2:23 pm
when I was a kid I loved this cartoon so much. I have been trying to find it for my kids. I almost cried when I seen this video cuz I had kept singing it to my kids and they finally got to hear it. lol thanks
Comment by angela — August 7, 2011 @ 10:32 pm