Do you want the bad news first, or the bad news? Robin Williams heart surgery went just fine. That’s not the bad news. I’m not a total bastard. Here’s the bad news:
“His heart is strong and he will have normal heart function in the coming weeks with no limitations on what he’ll be able to do,” said Dr. Marc Gillinov, a cardiothoracic surgeon at the Cleveland Clinic. “A couple of hours after surgery, he was entertaining the medical team and making us all laugh.”
Did you hear that? NO Limitations. He might do a “Hip Hop Voice” and then go right into his “John Wayne.” He might yell “Praissse the Lord I have SEEN the LI-GHT!” in that lispy preacher voice and then go right back into his “Hip Hop Voice.” Then, he might do his “Hip Hop Voice.” There’s just no limit to what Robin fucking Williams can do.
Oh, to be there in that hospital room after he woke up! To see him grab some bloody gauze off his own operating table, put it on his nose ala Patch Adams, and delight the entire medical operating theater. To see him do improv comedy with his own Amiodarone drip and Lactated Ringers IV! It all sounds just wonderful. I can only hope Billy Crystal will undergo major arterioplasty soon so we can hear of those post-op shenanigans as well. I hear after every surgery, Billy kneels on one knee and goes “Tah-Dah!” with his hands out to the sides. It’s showbiz tradition.
“I got some great new material for the tour and can’t wait to get back on the road,” Williams said in Monday’s news release. “I’m thinking the next leg of the tour will be ‘Weapons of Self-Destruction and Reconstruction!’”
Heh.
Sigh.
And here’s the other bad news: someone preserved a copy of this awful, awful 1982 (1982!!!) Mork Cartoon (instead of destroying every piece of footage in existence) from one of the Worst Named/Worst Executed Ideas in the History of Animation: “The Mork and Mindy/Laverne & Shirley/Fonz Hour.” I’m not dicking around, that’s the actual title. They couldn’t even connect them all with a long ampersand. It has backslashes in it like it’s the shittiest website in existence.
Might be a bad question to ask, but did Robin Williams do his voice in the series?
Comment by Alison — March 24, 2009 @ 10:41 am
I LOL’d. You nailed his schtick in a single paragraph.
I’m of the mind that Robin Williams was much funnier and more tolerable when he was on cocaine. In a rare reversal of the norm, he’s actually the only person in history to be more hyper and less coherent without cocaine in his system.
Comment by ZeroCorpse — March 24, 2009 @ 11:05 am
I have an entire episode of this (actually, I have one each of the Fonz and Laverne & Shirley cartoons, too, but why make myself look that pathetic, right?), and it’s hard to sit through.
Not as hard as watching Paddy the Pelican, mind you, but damn, the 80s had some crappy cartoons.
Comment by Jeff Sparkman — March 24, 2009 @ 1:21 pm
I don’t think there’s anything scarier than Robin Williams with laughing gas and morphine. My guess is that it would have an adverse “Great Cornholio” effect.
Comment by Friginator — March 24, 2009 @ 1:44 pm
I looked it up and YES Robin Williams voiced the cartoon. Though it sure doesn’t sound like him.
Hey Jeff, I’d love to have a copy of that episode…yeesh.
Also, is anyone else shocked that Robin Williams went to the hospital for “shortness of breath”? Is there a second in any day when this guy is NOT experiencing shortness of breath!??!
Comment by Chris Ward — March 24, 2009 @ 3:04 pm
At least Paddy the Pelican is easy to ignore…
Comment by Casey — March 24, 2009 @ 5:25 pm
The fact that they said he was making them all laugh leads me to think the strong prognosis is just one more in a nest of lies.
Now that may be a horrible cartoon, but the voices are the real actors, and the faces actually resemble them. Can we say the same of MC Hammer’s animated adventures? No we cannot.
I don’t get what the army pig and the motorcycle riding dog (not space-poodle) have to do with mork.
Comment by Brendan McGinley — March 25, 2009 @ 9:11 pm