Human Teeth: is there anything more horrible?* I don’t like my teeth. I don’t like a lot of other people’s teeth. People with good teeth? Suck it. I hate those people too. They’re painful, dirty, breakable little things and they most certainly don’t belong in cartoons (unless its Robert Smigel’s mouth coming out of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s face on Conan). But here they are, in lieu of animated mouths, in the amazingly bad CAPTAIN FATHOM: RUSTLERS OF THE SEA RANGE. You can see the whole episode on the Worst Cartoons Ever DVD, for sale here! My birthday is Friday, and what better gift to me than to buy my fabulously cheap and entertaining collection of crud. But, for now, become witness to the horror that is Animated Molars and the boring, BORING conversation that whistles through them. Also, apparently they can’t afford real bird sound effects.
*Human Teeth inside a dog’s mouth, perhaps
And, of course, here’s Clutch Cargo…
No, it’s true. The mark of the reliable criminal is punctuality. You’d think it would be “not getting caught,” but it’s “being on time.” Ergo, most women will never be reliable criminals.
Joking! Yeesh. Well, not really. Mostly.
Comment by Ward — March 26, 2009 @ 6:47 am
I really really want “Swampy” to be my nickname now. Or at least one of my child’s names. Erin Swampy Packrat has a nice ring to it doesn’t it?
Oh, and apparently we share birthdays. Happy Birthday!
Comment by Anne Packrat — March 26, 2009 @ 9:40 am
Why do all the actors on Clutch Cargo wear lipstick? Clutch himself looks like the bastard lovechild of Leslie Nielson and Liza Minelli.
Comment by Friginator — March 26, 2009 @ 3:21 pm
Oh no, not a MEE TEE OR shower!
Comment by Gary — March 27, 2009 @ 12:34 pm
[...] and is, like, 10 minutes late. The old guy is obsessed—OBSESSED, I say—with punctuality, as you’ll remember. She thinks she’s doing her token Hindu pal a favor, but totally throws him under the bus by [...]
Pingback by Worst Cartoons Ever — April 16, 2009 @ 5:07 am
u know that the dogs at the top are real and have teeth like that. that isnt animation
Comment by vic — August 7, 2009 @ 7:16 pm
LOL Ward. I just told my assistant that and she gave me a light sucker punch!
Comment by Dayton Dentist — October 28, 2009 @ 12:20 am
Thank you,
very interesting article
Comment by ostrov — December 2, 2009 @ 11:08 am
[...] image source [...]
Pingback by I don’t want to be a dog person. « I have to sit down — November 19, 2010 @ 7:03 am