It’s the middle of the week, and I need something to really grab me by the nuts and kick me into gear. Maybe that’s why this clip struck me as particularly awesome. Or maybe it’s because I liked the Fat Albert one so much. Or maybe it’s because I’m wanted to make the most awesome Rammstein pun in the history of websites for my music-geek friends. Either way, if you never though Eeyore was suicidal enough, maybe this will whet your appetite for lethargic, self-pitying stuffed donkeys.

Ok, ok…this will be the last “exercise” video for a while.

Mighty Mr. Titan seems to be particularly hung up on exercises that let you pretend to be something else. In fact, he gets really excited about the idea of running from his awful, awful past as an anemic serial killer and pretending to be R&B singer, Seal.

So I tried “The Seal.” It wasn’t good. Things popped out of place. I encourage you to send me pictures of you attempting it as well.

Casey, the winner of our Johnny Cypher Theme Song contest had this to say about the Worst Cartoons Ever DVD, on sale now!:

“Hi! I’m just writing to let you know that your junk arrived safely. Had fun watching it with a friend…the funny thing was, the whole thing wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The cartoons ranged from unwatchable to a strange, stinky charm.
Laughs were had either way. “

“Stinky Charms”: my new favorite breakfast cereal. And why shouldn’t she enjoy it, with helpful exercises like this from the Joker’s gym teacher, Mr. Mighty Titan. Come on all you active healthly boys and girls, get active already! We need to ship you out at 0800.

Today’s a big day for the site. It’s my wife’s birthday, my friends are in town from Minnesota, and MTV has contacted me about showing Evil Flying Jesus on some show of theirs. Unless I have Michelle Obama’s upper arm strength, I’m just not gonna make it through this. Good thing The Mighty Titan is here to show me the world’s most worthless, utterly hypnotizing workout. Something tells me if you don’t have the means to animate the act of exercising, you shouldn’t be attempting it. But the commies were on our shores, and desperate times called for cartoons that combined Jack LeLanne with the ghostly, nightmarish face of a harlequin.

Special guest stars: the shrill voiced kids from the Johnny Cypher Theme Song. Can’t someone tell these demon-throated assholes to stand away from the mic?!?

You can see the entire ‘Toon on Jerry Beck’s Worst Cartoons Ever DVD, for sale here, for only 10 Dumbells! They’re flying like hotcakes, so make sure to get your orders in for that special rotten egg of an Easter basket gift.