Happy 4/20, evil drug criminals and/or prescription-approved non-criminals! Yes, potheads love cartoons, and potheads loved fellow pot smoker Bob Denver. In fact, the lot of them must have gotten together and smoked about 3 bricks of stem-filled schwag to come up with an idea like “Gilligan’s Planet.”
It’s true I’ve never seen Gilligan’s Planet, but I’m putting my all money on “suck.” Here are some clues, gumshoes:
1. The original Mary Ann (Dawn Wells) does the voices for Mary Ann AND Ginger for this show, and they don’t even attempt to hide it in the credit sequence! I would love to have seen the cat fight between Dawn Wells and Tina Louise when Ginger found out what that bitch was up to.
2. Instead of sticking with one of the catchiest theme songs of all time and, I don’t know, changing the words to space-based bullshit, the cast is forced to sing-speak some blathering nonsense like “We’ve got a bra-nd new sto-ry, a-bout the cast-a-ways” and they can’t even keep on beat.
3. They have a banana powered, wooden spaceship that has no problem escaping the white-hot atmosphere.
4. The moral: F–k up royaly and ruin everyone’s life once, and they’ll name an island after you. F–k up royally a second time, ensuring everyone will most certainly die in space, and they’ll name the planet after you.
5. The big punchline in the last 10 seconds will make you want to dig up Bob Denver’s corpse, hollow out his head, and smoke crack out of his eye socket. UGHHH….
Now, as a bonus non-cartoon freak out, I’ll go ahead and post my Radiohead video my buddy Nick uploaded. Pack one tight and listen to this true story: We had a listening party for Radiohead’s Hail to the Thief in 2003 (I know, I know…equal parts pretentious and retarded). Instead of staring at our feet, I popped in some videotapes at random so we could look at something while listening. I put in the movie Apocalypse Snow, a bargain bin skiing movie, when “Sit Down, Stand Up” began and just let it roll. It matched up perfectly. This YouTube video is largely untouched from how we witnessed it, with some hyperactive editing bits thrown in at the end by my buddy Nick. And get this: the video is 4:20 LONG. Well…4:24. But STILL. COINCIDENCE?!? And not a single person was stoned out of their gourds when we first saw this. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be: Happy pothead day, potheads.
I beg to differ. Gilligan’s Planet may have it’s faults, but it’s still an awesome idea. Of course, I’m sure the people who made it managed to ruin it anyway.
Comment by Friginator — April 20, 2009 @ 3:54 pm
At least, while some of the other cartoons featured on this site clearly came into being because of some very wrong thinking, this one is easy to explain. It just can’t be the work of anyone but stoners. There’s something comforting about that.
Comment by Casey — April 20, 2009 @ 5:18 pm
How ’bout the “oh, yeah” at the end. He’s on Gilligan’s planet, and he’s got the blues so bad, uh, huh. I think it’s only fair that we get a cartoon-in-space version of “Lost” one of these days.
So, hold on a minute. You’re telling me that “420+” in a personal ad has nothing to do with the person’s weight?! Shoot.
Comment by dstyb — April 20, 2009 @ 9:44 pm
.
Comment by dstyb — April 20, 2009 @ 9:46 pm
How ’bout the “oh, yeah” at the end? He’s on Gilligan’s island, and he’s got the blues so bad, uh, huh. Considering the precident, we damn well better get a cartoon-in-space version of “Lost” one of these days.
So, hang on a second. You’re telling me that “420+” in a personal ad has nothing to do with the person’s weight?!…Shoot.
Comment by dstyb — April 20, 2009 @ 9:50 pm
I’d like to know why they jump on the guy for nearly calling it “Gilligan’s Star.” They’ve already called it a star once and by naming it after him, forgiven him for nearly getting everyone killed, so why can’t he call it whatever the hell he wants?
Comment by Casey — April 22, 2009 @ 10:27 am
Yeah, this was really, really bad. I was eleven or twelve when it came out, and I found it bewilderingly awful, even then. I vaguely remembered - and really liked as a little kid - the cartoon Gilligan’s Island series of the early 70s, and this was by the same studio, re-using a lot of the same cells and stuff. It was a weirdly-belated sequel or spinoff or whatever, probably eight years after the original cartoon had crashed and burned, and probably a year or so after the first of those awful ‘reunion’ movies. It was terrible. So terrible that my little idiot friends and I would sit around wondering who it was even intended for. Even so, it followed the bizarre 1970s “…in Space!” convention for second seasons.
So the big question is: Did Dawn Welles get paid twice as much as everyone else, since she had a dual role, or did they forcer to ‘be nice’ and get the same pay for twice as much work?
Comment by Republibot 3.0 — November 3, 2009 @ 10:36 pm