Comments on: Dick Clark Hates Your Children

By: Worst Cartoons Ever

Worst Cartoons Ever — Tue, 05 May 2009 10:10:49 +0000

[...] again, Dick Clark offers up a couple of clues but before he can lambaste the children for guessing incorrectly, Orson—the booming voice from Mork & Mindy, a television program [...]

By: Worst Cartoons Ever

Worst Cartoons Ever — Fri, 01 May 2009 10:06:37 +0000

[...] Froggy from Our Gang, staring into the void and dutifully answering Dick’s asinine question lest she get put right in her goddamned place by theageless man with the microphone. Oh, how I love her. She speaks for all of us…she seems to be saying, “Kill [...]

By: dstyb

dstyb — Fri, 01 May 2009 03:07:04 +0000

I bet Jamal only got on the show because Dick owned part of the kid’s publishing rights. Pac-Man himself was probably more genuine.

By: Junkstore

Junkstore — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 15:05:00 +0000

Shit, that’s more sad than stroked-out Dick Clark at this past year’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

By: Worst Cartoons Ever

Worst Cartoons Ever — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 10:01:29 +0000

[...] first thing that happens is that Dick Clark tells the kid next to you to shut his goddamn yap before the show even starts. That’s cool, because that kid was going to be trouble anyway. [...]

By: Chris_Ward

Chris_Ward — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:30:47 +0000

“Do you see yourself on camera pal? Oh that’s great. You know what? That’s MY camera, and you need my permission to be on it. Now it looks like you got yourself in a little bind, Jamal, because I don’t remember giving you permission to have YOUR face on MY camera. So what are we going to do about that, huh Jamal? What would you do if you were in my situation? I swear to christ if you open your mouth one more time, you’ll be swallowing those baby teeth 2-3 months before you’re supposed too. Now get the hell off my set, and say hello to your mother for me.”

By: Anne Packrat

Anne Packrat — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:40:10 +0000

Dick Clark just wants to remind everyone to have their children spayed and neutered.

By: I Have a Bow on my Head

I Have a Bow on my Head — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:05:05 +0000

Saturday Morning cartoon preview specials are very hard to find nowadays, and I know of no station that does them anymore. And that is a tragedy because they are like a magical cavalcade of “WTF?”

“Let’s have the cast of ‘Family Matters’ act like the ‘New Kids on the Block’ cartoon is the most amazing thing ever in the entire history of the entire universe!”