Upon reading one of his articles in Wizard Magazine (The Guide to Pop Culture, Comics and What Have You), an extremely irate reader once called Chris Ward a “Loose Cannon” over the phone, and actually meant it.
Think about that for a second.
Suddenly, a phrase reserved for the likes of Tango, Cash and anything starring Gary Busey was generously applied to a man making his living mocking Spider-Man comics and putting words in the mouths of action figures for ToyFare Magazine’s “Twisted ToyFare Theatre.” So, how exactly has Ward earned this loose cannon status (besides refusing to turn in his badge and gun)?
He’s grilled celebrities … such as Eva Mendes and Mr. T on whether or not they think a hot dog is a sandwich (Mendes: “No.” Mr. T: “yes”), run red lights with American Splendor’s Harvey Pekar on the streets of Cleveland, and chastised Aaron Eckhart for stealing Billy Dee Williams’ thunder as Harvey Dent.
He delights … not in talking about an actor’s next vanity project, but in re-listening to an awkward voicemail from Stone Cold Steve Austin or Crispin Glover. He once turned down an interview with Nic Cage because it was on a Sunday, which everyone knows is the day Ward pampers himself with Jasmine Phoenix Tea (with Dragon Pearls) while catching up on “his stories” (read: missed episodes of Blossom).
For Performing Songwriter Magazine, Ward has had Post-Waffle House Brawl exclusives with Kid Rock, told dirty jokes to Willie Nelson, and tangoed with the likes of Jimmy Eat World, Band of Horses and Girl Talk. Ward has John Oates on speed-dial.
A Pac-Man tattoo … sealed Ward as a hire for the Village Voice Media’s long-running “Game On” video game column, and Joystick Division website (where he often appears sans pants).
Hi there … Are you still reading this? You know this is the obligatory biography page that people skip over, right? What kind of person are you anyway? Some nutjob completist?!? Fine, then you’d probably be glad to know that he’s written for Geek Monthly, and penned a few sold-out comic books alongside his hero Keith Giffen, which some called:
“innovative…funny…Highly recommended for those with a sense of humor and those who would like to grow one.” -Ain’t It Cool News
How’s that fit you, fancy pants?
Ward also … shares a name with legendary rapper MC Chris (of Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021), leading someone at IMDB.com to clear the whole thing up in a trivia page, and preventing Ward from collecting MC’s paychecks.
And now … most importantly…Ward has put this extravagant, charmed life on hold to cherry pick the world’s worst cartoon moments for you, the reader, in popular “blog” form. Join him, won’t you?