Hey, what’s more embarrassing than The Wonder Twins? It’s Willie Tyler & Lester—the less funny pre-cursor to Jeff Dunham—trying to pronounce the word “Superman” as part of ABC Saturday Morning Preview Show. As far as I’m concerned, Superfriends owes all its success to this perfectly executed comedy bit.

I can’t get over his Ms. Pac-Man joke, either. “How do you tell Ms. Pac-Man apart from Pac-Man? Ms. Pac-Man has a bow on her head and earrings! BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP!” Wait a minute…isn’t that just a fact and not a punchline? If it’s not, I’ve got a joke for you: “How do you tell the difference between Pinky and Clyde, the Pac-Man ghosts? Clyde is Orange! BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP BOP!”

And whatever you do, DO NOT, miss the “Superman Pac-Man Song” at the end, in which Lester becomes terrified on the spot and attempts to improvise a song, but ends up just spouting off the TV Guide listings for that morning and then adds AMERICAN BANDSTANDDDDD at the end. This must have pissed everyone at ABC off because Bandstand (Band-stannnd) has absolutely nothing to do with this Saturday Morning Preview Special. Willie clearly just adds it to the end because they’re on the American Bandstand set, because ABC was to cheap to get this show its own set.

I never realized how truly bad the name for the Laverne and Shirley and Fonz Hour Cartoon was until a puppet tried to sing it in a song.

Got my favorite comment this week under one of the many Dick Clark posts:

Stupid. Not funny, just boringly stupid. Not really having a good time around here, so I’m moving on. -Bored To Tears

Yeah, well the jerkstore called and they’re runnin’ outta YOU! I’m intrigued by the man/woman/cretin who “hangs around” a website like a bar that’s closed hours ago and won’t leave, and apparently doesn’t understand the concept of “surfing” the internet (but rather camps in one spot), but now that the dickweeds have wandered off, I can share with the cool kids table another clip from the Dick Clark Saturday Morning Bore-a-Rama. This one simply has Shaggy giving Scooby the Scooby Shocker. His real prize is ending up with his head directly up the Great Dane’s butt. INCONVENIENT! 

Boringly stupid, indeed

First things first: Why don’t you celebrate Cinco De Mayo the way Jesus intended.

SOOO…Jeff Sparkman, the kind fellow who sent me this little gold mine we call The Pac-Man Saturday Morning Preview, pretty much sums up the following clip in one of his posts:

“While watching the Mork and Mindy cartoon, my 5-year-old got up, and told me, ‘This isn’t very good,’ and walked away.”

Once again, Dick Clark offers up a couple of clues but before he can lambaste the children for guessing incorrectly, Orson—the booming voice from Mork & Mindy, a television program these children are all very well versed in—lays the smackdown on Dick. That’s Ralph James, bitch—the recognizable voiceover artist also behind the eighties Spider-Man’s Dr. Doom, and several other things I don’t feel like IMDB-ing.

It’s such a hilarious and interesting bit, that Orson is allowed to just prattle on while poor Dick and the children have nothing to do. One child decides to hand Dick Clark his popcorn, and then immediately takes it back. This unscripted move by this rogue, outside-the-box-method-acting-Johnny seems to tick Dick Clark off, because he doesn’t so much as mouth a “thank you” before gripping the popcorn coldly and looking away as if something that f—ing weird didn’t just happen.

After 1:15 seconds, when the cartoon starts, you’re on your own. These are waters even a doe-eyed 5-year-old won’t dip her toes into. The minute Mork begins yelling at a bowl of fruit and dishing out onion puns, my eyeballs dripped out of my head like runny egg whites.

Also, IMDB claims Robin Williams actually did the voice for this cartoon. I’m not convinced. But I’m not strong enough to give it a good, critical listen. Perhaps you should let me know in the comments section.

[PS: The Winners of the Freak-Out Friday Contest have been decided! Your prizes are being boxed up, and winners will be announced t'morrow!]