Herein lies a selection of some of the worst animated films ever made. In the early days of TV animation in the 1950’s and 60’s, producers were looking for ways to cut corners, and made cartoons as cheap as possible. How cheap? You’ll find out. Learn More...
Ok, ok…this will be the last “exercise” video for a while.
Mighty Mr. Titan seems to be particularly hung up on exercises that let you pretend to be something else. In fact, he gets really excited about the idea of running from his awful, awful past as an anemic serial killer and pretending to be R&B singer, Seal.
So I tried “The Seal.” It wasn’t good. Things popped out of place. I encourage you to send me pictures of you attempting it as well.
Casey, the winner of our Johnny Cypher Theme Song contest had this to say about the Worst Cartoons Ever DVD, on sale now!:
“Hi! I’m just writing to let you know that your junk arrived safely. Had fun watching it with a friend…the funny thing was, the whole thing wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The cartoons ranged from unwatchable to a strange, stinky charm.
Laughs were had either way. “
“Stinky Charms”: my new favorite breakfast cereal. And why shouldn’t she enjoy it, with helpful exercises like this from the Joker’s gym teacher, Mr. Mighty Titan. Come on all you active healthly boys and girls, get active already! We need to ship you out at 0800.
Today’s a big day for the site. It’s my wife’s birthday, my friends are in town from Minnesota, and MTV has contacted me about showing Evil Flying Jesus on some show of theirs. Unless I have Michelle Obama’s upper arm strength, I’m just not gonna make it through this. Good thing The Mighty Titan is here to show me the world’s most worthless, utterly hypnotizing workout. Something tells me if you don’t have the means to animate the act of exercising, you shouldn’t be attempting it. But the commies were on our shores, and desperate times called for cartoons that combined Jack LeLanne with the ghostly, nightmarish face of a harlequin.
Special guest stars: the shrill voiced kids from the Johnny Cypher Theme Song. Can’t someone tell these demon-throated assholes to stand away from the mic?!?
You can see the entire ‘Toon on Jerry Beck’s Worst Cartoons Ever DVD, for sale here, for only 10 Dumbells! They’re flying like hotcakes, so make sure to get your orders in for that special rotten egg of an Easter basket gift.
*2/3/09: 7PM, Added Bonus remix video at the end of the post!*
My buddy John Dodd snuck into a church late at night (which wasn’t hard, since this particular church used to be a Super Wal-Mart) and stole this magnificient and guarded cartoon (in about what the end times will be like from the Bootleg Illuminati. This video is GUARANTEED to not be as boring as Angels & Demons is gonna be. Enjoy this or, like Jesus, I’ll cast ye and your Volkswagon Bug into a pit of FI-AH!
So what did we learn? Well, here’s are SEVEN—the holy number!—things I learned from watching this video… (more…)
This post has been a long time coming—I’ve been holding onto this little clip for six years, waiting for the right time to unleash it’s majesty.
I don’t even need to set up what you’re about to see, or explain why it needs to be shared with the world, or meditate on how lucky I was to have a tape in the VCR when it came on at my college apartment. All I’ll say is that even though I’m stretching the definition of “cartoon” here, you’re not going to mind a whole helluva lot. And whatever you do, do not miss the jaw-dropping ending to this birthday gift of a video I have so carefully wrapped for you and placed at your feet.
Really, I don’t know what to say after that. Except maybe, well, “BLAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKK!!!”
The Worst Cartoons Ever.com DVD Contest is going on NOW! You wanna be a winner, right champ?
