Smarkus Week Conclusion: Night Terrors, and the fate of Smarkus!

Posted by: Chris Ward on 01-16-2009 @ 6:00 am | Filed under: Educational Toons, Eighties Toons, Hi-Tech Toons, Smarkus

Wow, what a week it’s been, huh? It seems like just the other day that our three day, week long series of posts about Smarkus & Co. began. If you missed the others and are too lazy too scroll down (let’s face it, you are), then click here and here but do not click here. Well, I warned you. And that will teach you to do exactly what I say. Just like Little Joey here, who screwed with Smarkus, the animated, Satan-Cast-In-Silicon, and got what was coming to him in the dead of pajama-pissing night

More on the creators of Smarkus and Co. when the skin on my space bar thumb heals and it doesn’t hurt to type. I chew the skin off my fingers when I see videos like Smarkus and Co. I’m not kidding.

One final note: I’m incredibly disturbed/delighted that Ron Hall, the voice of Smarkus, went on to star in a movie called InterneTrix (which, disappointingly, is not about an Internet-flavored, fruity cereal, ) which is ridicuolously similar to the plot of Smarkus and Company. But instead of people getting sucked into a laughably outdated computer to learn about blind kids playing baseball…

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Shown: getting sucked into a computer, artist rendition

…people are getting sucked into a laughably outdated computer to flip around to a song by, one assumes, DMX’s kid brother. Ron Hall, you’ve come a long way, baby!

By the way, I encourage all my readers to please post my Smarkus videos, the only ones online I think, on Ron Hall’s MySpace page. He’ll either love you for it, or deliver high kicks. Whatever the outcome, be sure to let me know how it goes.


Smarkus has such sights to show you (UPDATED)

Posted by: Chris Ward on 01-15-2009 @ 6:40 am | Filed under: Educational Toons, Eighties Toons, Smarkus

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*UPDATED: Fixed Video. Sorry folks.*

What do you get when you cross Hellraiser with the Electric Company? This clip from Smarkus and Co., in which Smarkus shows his utter contempt for brillo headed boys, yelly and shrill (and someday-to-drown-in-a-bathtub-accident) girls and, generally, all of mankind.

His loveable catch phrase: “Is this the BEST you can do?” What kid wouldn’t want to watch a cartoon that re-inforces the idea that they’ll never live up to the standards of an angry, insulting, 2MBs of talking RAM? And when’s he’s pushed to the limit…well, just watch it to the end. I think he chooses to destroy the known universe.

It actually makes sense that Smarkus is a total jagoff, and here’s why…

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It’s Smarkus Week!

Posted by: Chris Ward on 01-13-2009 @ 1:43 pm | Filed under: Educational Toons, Eighties Toons, Hi-Tech Toons, Nineties Toons, Smarkus

All week I’ll be posting clips from Smarkus and Company, and educational cartoon/live-action/technological nightmare sent to me by my man in the field, Junkstore Jesse T. 

Let me set the scene: a mankind-hating blip creature appears one day inside these kids’ computer—which is a hybrid of an Apple II, Radio Shack TRS-80 and a small lawnmower engine. If you were a kid, and an 8-bit genie appeared promising to tell you about the secrets of the universe (or, in this case “How do blind people play baseball?” asks the slackjawed girl. Dumbass.), you would probably be pretty excited. Not this kid who, upon realizing Wikipedia is in excess of 10 years away, would rather just have the goddamned information he’s looking for than go on an adventure. This boy’s response is one of my all-time favorites. Bite me, Smarkus.

How does Huey Lewis and the News factor into all this? Click More to find out!
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