I meant to re-post this a while back from Jerry Beck’s Cartoon Brew site, because I think it’s so damn cool. Did you know Itchy and Scratchy were not that inspired by Tom and Jerry, but rather a less memorable and more bizarrely violent cartoon called Herman and Katnip? Yep, it’s true. Here’s what Jerry, who hosts the Worst Cartoons DVD with awesome insights just like this one, has to say:

By the 1950s, the writers at Paramount’s Famous Studios were suffering from cartoon fatigue — endlessly rewriting and redrawing the same tired stories for Popeye, Casper, Baby Huey et al. for years on end. The Herman and Katnip pictures were pure cat-chasing-mice opuses, which were by now running on auto-pilot, and got progressively more and more violent as the years went by…

Embedded below is the last 90 seconds from Mouseum (1956) which features my all-time favorite bad-taste ending. I love it. It makes me laugh because of how wrong it is. By this time, the animators had really lost all perspective. 

 

Check out the whole post at Cartoon Brew, and pick up the D-V-D here! It’s like BlueRay, but with fewer letters!

Your mother went through months of agony and tears, and years of raising your sorry ass, and this is how you repay her? Happy Mother’s Day, I guess. In the comments, please lets try to figure out what in the hell Napoleon is saying here, gosh!

Yesterday was Earth Day and as you may have noticed, there was no new post on the website. Not because I just “couldn’t get around to it,” but because I was extremely busy turning on all the lights in my house, spraying aerosol cans out my window, and burning leaves in the backyard. That’s right, I miss burning leaves like crazy: My neighbors had a burn barrel and they used to do it all the time, and we would throw open the windows and just let it roll on in. There’s nothing like that smell and that smoke wafting across your eyeballs… so screw you, screw this “go green” catchphrase crap, and screw Captain Planet: his cartoon sucks now, it sucked then. No kids liked this show. If they did, their parents were probably the kind of people that made them turn off the water while they were brushing their teeth. Me? I like the sound of water running while I’m brushing my teeth. Remember when Earth Day first came out, and everybody made relentless fun of it? Apparently, I’m the only person left who remembers that.

Check out Captain Planet’s awesome mirror-opposites. Now THESE are some guys I’d like to burn leaves and throw cans out the window with.

Hells yeah…I want a “Deforestation Ring.” But how are these “Pollution Powers” bad, exactly? 

1. “Super Radiation”—you could totally use that on cancer. Not so bad.

2. “Deforestation”—not a way to pollute. Unless you’re polluting parking lots with all those useless saplings.

3. “Smog”—What’s the big deal? In the nineties, Smog was short for “S’Mores and POGS.” Who would argue with hot S’Mores and a fun, quick-paced game of POGS, everyone’s favorite collectible milkcap game (apologies to Slammer Jammers)? Give me that ring and let the good times materialize!

4. “Artic”?—I can’t tell what he’s saying with that stupid rag on his mouth.

5. “Hate”—Yes, hate. what an awful pollutant. I say it’s the fuel of the future. Imagine how many miles to the gallon Ray Liota’s car would get!! The sound’s pretty bad though, she also might be saying “Paint.” As in “that evil Mauve jumpsuit color that makes your stomach queasy.” That’s pretty evil, I guess.

And now, here’s Not-Fensler doing a Not-Fensler-Films version of those GI Joe spots, with Captain Planet. It’s a’ight.

The day after Easter is a special day: Jesus slashes prices on candy nationwide, and the remaining Marshmallow Peeps are returned to their families, spared a grisly microwave death and granted book deals to tell their amazing, harrowing tale of survival.

It’s also a day to reflect on some of the worst web cartoons I’ve ever seen, as people jump on the Easter bandwagon leading up to the big day. The last cartoon–and the most screwed-up idea I’ve ever seen–appear last because they are NSFW. That means Not Safe For Work, for those of you who actually work. Unless you work at the “talking breast ‘toon center,” then you should be fine.

1. Spanish Easter Bunny is in the Clink

I don’t speak Spanish, and neither do you, so let me translate this masterpiece. “Easter Day” is like America’s “Easter” except the Spaniards (is that politically correct? I’m sure it is. Why bother asking anyone) add the word “Day” to the end to differentiate it from “Dia de Los Easter,” which is in late October, translated as “Night of the Lepus.”

The story is this: In Germany, pink, penis-nosed rabbits invented the “terrifying shout into the computer microphone.” They are then hit by cabs, a holiday tradition. The steal eggs from Snowy Owls. The mole police arrive, speaking English (as they do), fart, declare “Don’t Make Hasty Decision” and worship their savior Luis Villafane Pinto.

2. Easter “Cartoon.”

Here’s a fun game, how many seconds of this video will you watch before you realize the creator has no idea what a “cartooon” is? Have fun.

3. “Hip Hop Easter Bunny”

There aren’t many things I hate more than “raps.” No, I’m not talking about rap. I’m talking about “raps.” Whether it’s a ironic ad campaign, a Looney Tunes ’90s revival marketing strategy, an old white lady being a “fish out of water” in a Chris Rock movie…I’d rather hear Clint Eastwood sing than see anything like this ever again. I don’t know who this humor is for. Toss in some of the worst 3D animation on the planet, and you’ve got a winner.

Plus, these assholes rhyme “basket” with “mascot,” which is not quite as annoying as when that country singer rhymed “Bin Laden” with “have you forgotten.” But it’s close.

OK. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The worst Easter Video, possibly the worst thing I’ve ever seen, is after the jump. Not safe for work, you’ve been warned. Not safe for the Unemployed either, as it will lead to a depressing shame spiral.

(more…)

With Earth Day coming up later this month, and everybody up their own asses about how “radical” it is to “go green” and “breathe clean air,” I think it’s important that we recognize Disney, who—as proven by this video that’s been making the Net rounds this week—has been recycling for years. This video immediately depressed my wife, who is the only person I know with fond memories of Robin Hood, a movie I totally and absolutely forgot about. I had to Google it just to make sure it was just called “Robin Hood,” and not “The Animal Robin Hood” or “Foxy Robin Hood.” Whatever. I started hating Disney as a kid, when I was denied the chance to see UHF starring Weird Al in my local cineplex thanks to an overwhelming vote by my cousins to see An American Tale. Yes, I know An American Tale is not a Disney movie, but I didn’t make this distinction when I was a kid, nor could I understand that a company other than Disney could make full-length cartoon movies. I still can’t understand it.