This post has been a long time coming—I’ve been holding onto this little clip for six years, waiting for the right time to unleash it’s majesty.

I don’t even need to set up what you’re about to see, or explain why it needs to be shared with the world, or meditate on how lucky I was to have a tape in the VCR when it came on at my college apartment. All I’ll say is that even though I’m stretching the definition of “cartoon” here, you’re not going to mind a whole helluva lot. And whatever you do, do not miss the jaw-dropping ending to this birthday gift of a video I have so carefully wrapped for you and placed at your feet.

Really, I don’t know what to say after that. Except maybe, well, “BLAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKK!!!”

The Worst Cartoons Ever.com DVD Contest is going on NOW! You wanna be a winner, right champ?

All week I’ll be posting clips from Smarkus and Company, and educational cartoon/live-action/technological nightmare sent to me by my man in the field, Junkstore Jesse T. 

Let me set the scene: a mankind-hating blip creature appears one day inside these kids’ computer—which is a hybrid of an Apple II, Radio Shack TRS-80 and a small lawnmower engine. If you were a kid, and an 8-bit genie appeared promising to tell you about the secrets of the universe (or, in this case “How do blind people play baseball?” asks the slackjawed girl. Dumbass.), you would probably be pretty excited. Not this kid who, upon realizing Wikipedia is in excess of 10 years away, would rather just have the goddamned information he’s looking for than go on an adventure. This boy’s response is one of my all-time favorites. Bite me, Smarkus.

How does Huey Lewis and the News factor into all this? Click More to find out!
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My boy Jesse sent this videotape over to Worst Cartoons HQ, and I immediately punched the postman in the face. He thanked me. What you’re about to see is a “bonus feature” tacked on to the end of the Computer Warriors Pilot Episode (the only episode ever created), created to tie into the 1989-1990 toyline. Since it’s nearly as long as Stairway to Heaven, and only mildly more irritating, I’ll list the highlights after the jump!

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